Monday 21 September 2015

IT'S OFFICIAL. SUE & I ARE GETTING DEVORCED

It's with no regret at all the Sue the satnav and I are going our separate ways. I set Sue  for my destination as usual and set off on a 4 hour drive over the Pyrenees to a campsite just below Barcelona. All went well for the first three miles until she told me to turn left of a perfectly good road onto a minor road. which I did. we then began a 6 mile climb of continuous tight S bends up a very steep road which I realized was taking me over the Pyrenees on a minor road. Why ??? the journey down the other side was as bad with steep downhill bends & cars not expecting to meet a motorhome coming the other way. Those of you who know me will know I'm as laid back as gravity allows but my stress levels were staring to rise. Eventually the world became level again and the road wide enough that I didn't have to grip the steering wheel quite so tightly hoping I wouldn't finish up in the ditch every time a car drove towards me At last we arrived at a main road "  Thank you God " . the next few miles where bliss, then we arrived in a Village. French Villages are never straight forward.they tend to have narrow main streets with cars parked on a least one side an usually a delivery van on the other, causing traffic to wait in both directions. on the road in I picked up two other motorhomes and the three of us were in convoy when we arrived at said village. We slowly made it through and Sue said turn right in 200 yards. The motorhome in front of me went straight on as I noticed did the one behind me, Sue had played her Ace. On turning right the road as so narrow I had to fold my wing mirrors in which meant I couldn't see down Lefties sides miraculously I manged to drive two hundred yards between houses without damage. Surely things cant get worse, but guess what. They did. A van came from the other direction and there just wasn't room. to make things even worse, two cars who could clearly see the problem drove down behind the van. I don't speak French but on this occasion it wasn't necessary, their faces said all. Why would any sane person try to bring a 6 metre long  by 2.3 metre wide motorhome up this bloody road ???? I lamely held up Sue for them to see. It took what seemed like a lifetime to maneuver van, cars, and Leftie. It  was like those puzzles you had as a child. A square with sliding tiles and one space you could  move around one tile at a time to make a picture. By the time I was back on  main roads I was starting feel a tiny bit better. Only half an hour to go, and that's when Sue went for the jugular. Being a Yorkshire man and careful with money Sue is programmed to avoid Toll roads. something she excelled at in the 18 months we've been together.When you consider a round trip to the south of Spain and back using Toll roads in a motorhome would probably cost £200. But oh no, not this time straight to the Toll booth.............
I am now at the campsite laying down with a cold compress. I don't even have any WHISKY

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